If you've had any length of conversation with me in the past few years, you've probably picked up on my “issue”. Here it is.....it may not be a shocker......I don't like working full-time outside the home and raising kids at the same time. Yes, I know, it's no big surprise to my friends, especially because I tend to vent now and then with big sighs, hints of exasperation, and comments like “I should just be grateful”. I try to maintain an outside calm of having the working-mother thing all under control, but on the inside I'm sometimes pouting and stomping my feet because I just can't master it all.
Now, part of my problem is that I'm an idealist. I want to be a combination of Martha Stewart, Mother Theresa and Carol Brady. A domestic diva, a world changer, and a Proverbs 31 woman....maybe I've aimed too high? A wise counsellor once told me if you lower your expectations, you're less likely to be disappointed. I'm convinced he was right.
Another wise working-mother once told me you just can't have it all....something has to give. Are the kids really going to remember or care when they grow up how clean your floors were? Will it really matter if you don't include all the recommended food groups in their lunch bags? They're more likely to remember the special talks and prayers you shared with them at bed time, the times you laughed or cried together, or seeing you in the bleachers cheering them on at their sporting events. Thinking this way has freed me up somewhat. I only clean the floors every other week now.
I've convinced myself over and over that I should just be content and thankful. After all, what do I have to complain about really? Honestly, I tell myself, get some perspective! Royalty send their children away to boarding school. Celebrity children are raised by nannies. Martha Stewart's daughter didn't exactly turn out to be a role model. Carol Brady is fictional, and she had a live-in maid! As middle class Canadians, we are incredibly blessed..... I know, I know....but that pouting, foot-stomping little girl on the inside still likes to wish for more time at home with the kids.
So, asking God to grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, here is where I stand in the process of overcoming my “issue”. I don't want to pout and whine, I really don't. Not only do I want to be pleasing to my Heavenly Father, I want to be a good example to my children and a helpful support to my husband. So.....I'm adopting the attitude that I “get” to do both, work full time and raise a family. It's a privilege to be a housewife and mother, and it's also a privilege to learn and use my talents and brain in the work force. I “get” to do both! OK, maybe it's a weak argument to some, but it's helping me to overcome and make the most out of my reality.
Because I “get” to work full-time we can afford certain luxuries and conveniences that make our lives easier. I “get” to raise Elijah and Natalie, two of God's precious children entrusted to us. I “get” to support my husband in meeting the needs of our family and preparing for our future. Actually, the more I dwell on this, the luckier I feel. I really need to see this glass half full!
The other day I said to Elijah, “What would you think if Mommy worked as a day care provider in our home, so that I could be there more for you and Natalie?”. He said, “No, I think you should stay at the bank..... not that you wouldn't be good at caring for kids, but I just think you'd be happier at the bank”. Hmmm....out of the mouths of babes. For him, a working mom is his normal, and although my kids aren't perfect, they definitely know they're loved and their needs are met. If they're not worried about it, maybe I shouldn't be either.
