Headlines

I catch myself wasting time reading another Yahoo! headline story about some celebrity who doesn't even know my name. Oh my, look what they're wearing! They're dating who? They're entering rehab again! I'm embarrassed to say I know more about these celebrities' lives than some of my own relatives. This just isn't right.

What is it that makes us so curious about the lives of the rich and famous? Why does a celebrity's fashion faux-pas make headlines right along side the national election coverage or Hurricane Sandy?

I'm not sure I have the answers, but it's a peculiar behaviour that makes me go “hmmm”. I suppose it could be a form of escape from our ho-hum lives to catch a glimpse into a lifestyle we'll never have ourselves. It could come from our innate need to worship something, or our tendency to idolize or make heroes of those who have attained worldly success. Sadly, it's like a one-way relationship, and I use that term loosely. We can know everything about someone else but they don't have to know anything about us. It's safe, but a little twisted, actually.

Not to undermine the value of celebrities as individuals, but our time would surely be better spent learning about the lives of those around us, those we brush shoulders with every day. At least we'd be investing in relationships, and showing others that they are valued and important. Friendships are built when we reach out, show concern, and open ourselves up to others. It's a two-way adventure. It's risky. We might even get hurt sometimes, but this is part of growing as a human being and being fully alive.

So, welcome to my challenge. Will you join me in this? The next time we are intrigued by one of those Yahoo celebrity headlines, let's make the choice to invest our time more wisely. Let's be conscious instead of our friends and loved ones who really need our attention, and would love to have someone listen to their story. The rich and famous won't miss us anyway.

A Winning Attitude

Watching the Olympics this week, I am reminded that there's such a fine line between the joy of victory and the agony of defeat. Athletes in their prime, so strong and swift, can cross the finish line fractions of a second apart from each other, yet only one athlete wins the gold. Those who miss a medal by such a narrow margin can be devastated by their defeat. Why should the athlete in 2nd or 3rd place, or last place for that matter, feel any less of a winner when the fact is they can still out-perform most everyone in the whole world?

Last year my daughter Natalie ran in a cross-country race with girls her age from across the county. Natalie is very strong and flexible, but when it comes to running, her brother Elijah always outshines her. Elijah had already run his cross-country race and had placed very high. I was concerned about Natalie comparing her performance to that of her brother's. She ended up finishing the race in 98th place out of 300 girls. When she called me to tell me the results, I was preparing to console her with words like "Well, if you did your best, that's all that matters" or "but look how good you are at doing cartwheels!". Much to my surprise however, I didn't need to use those phrases because she happily announced, "Mom! I was faster than over 200 girls!!"

I laughed out loud as I realized that she had the right perspective absolutely. I said "You are so right, girl. Way to go!!" We don't have to be the best at something to see ourself as a winner. She taught me a good lesson that day.

Timing is Everything

This morning we finally got the spring rain we've been waiting for so long! As I left for work, I gave my umbrella to one of the kids, figuring they would need it worse than I. The rain seemed to be falling lightly as I drove, but approaching the parking lot near my work, the rain really started to come down hard. After parking the car, I took off my jacket and held it over my head as I raced down the sidewalk in the pouring rain. Of course, I missed the green light at the corner and was left standing there at the red light getting royally soaked.



As I waited for the traffic to pass, a tall fellow in a business suit and a very big umbrella arrived next to me on the corner. Having mercy on me, he said, “You can stand under this umbrella if you like.” I normally wouldn't have accepted but the rain was coming down in buckets and it seemed like an honourable offer.

“Oh thanks. I gave my umbrella to my kids this morning”, I chuckled, as I stuck my head a little ways under his umbrella. He said, “Timing is everything”. Not sure what he really meant by that, I just replied, “Hmm...ya”. It was a bit awkward sharing an umbrella with a complete stranger but I just kept my eyes on the road ahead of us for those few moments.

As the traffic cleared, I said “Thanks a lot. I'm going to make a run for it now” and I darted out into the street with my hands and jacket still over my head. Suddenly, I heard the man shout “Watch it!” so I glanced to my left just in time to see a white van coming toward me. Holding the jacket over my head had hindered my view and I hadn't seen it coming. I heard the umbrella man yell a second time, “Watch out!”. In that split second of time, feeling panicked and foolish all at the same time, I had to choose between racing forward or trying to run back. The driver of the van honked the horn. I ran forward with speed and just made it safely across the intersection. Too embarrassed to look back, I got indoors and out of the rain as fast as I could.

A short while later I emailed my mom telling her about the close call I'd had and how this umbrella man helped save my life. She responded with, “Maybe he was an angel?”. As I read her response I quietly gasped inside. It occurred to me that I had just asked God two days earlier to see an angel! You see, I've been fascinated with angels for quite some time and have periodically over the years asked God for the chance to see one, just out of curiosity. This week I had been thinking about it again. Could it be that God was waiting to answer my prayer until a time when I really needed an angel? Hmm......

I'll never know for sure if the umbrella man was an angel or just a real person, but I am sure that he was there by divine appointment to warn me of the danger I didn't see. Thank God!! It also makes me wonder about the potential significance of him saying, “Timing is everything”.

Little Miss Can't Be Wrong

Little Miss Can't Be Wrong. We all know someone like her. She's the one won't back down when she thinks she is right. She delights in airing her own opinions. It's rare to get an apology out of her. She's too insecure to give a sincere compliment to you. She'll go to great lengths to prove she is right because being "w..w..wrrrrong" is not in her vocabulary.

Little Miss C-B-W may even be popular in social circles because of her wealth of knowledge and ability to contribute to almost any topic of conversation, but her closer, more intimate relationships are few because her need to be right ends up turning people off over time. More than likely her behaviour is just a coverup for the fears and insecurities that actually drive her. Her desire for significance would be better satisfied through being more kind than right. Little Miss C-B-W needs to see that you can be right.... yet wrong at the same time.

If you held this image of the word "RIGHT" up to a mirror you would see that it also spells "WRONG". We may be right with our facts, but wrong with our delivery, our approach or our intention. I think it all boils down to our motives. Why do we esteem being right as more important than being loving or forbearing?

Have you ever tried to just let someone think they are right even when you know they're wrong? It's not easy to do at first, but it's actually quite freeing. In time (usually) the truth will be revealed and they'll realize they were wrong. Chances are they'll be more likely to say "hey, you were right" and less defensively because you didn't put up a fight.

Too bad we can't change or eliminate all the Little Misses in our lives, but we can look at ourselves and examine our own motives. We can practise the use of sayings like "you could be right" or "please forgive me, I was wrong" and in doing so, make the world a bit better place. Well......I can't help it if I'm right!!!

Motivation

Motivation. The driving force from within. Where does it come from? If we could package and sell it, we'd be billionaires.

Do you remember an infomercial from the 90's of an oriental man standing on his yacht advertising his motivational money-making seminars? He says “Come to my sem-ee-naw!” We used to laugh at him, but making lots of money with the least amount of work is a motive that many still buy into.

Imagine if motivation was so easy to access and maintain....people would stick to their New Years resolutions, addictions would be broken, poverty would be lessened, the gospel would reach the whole world, and the possibilities would seem endless.

We each seem to have a motivational bucket with a tiny hole in the bottom. It constantly needs re-filling with new inspiration and reasons to stay motivated. If we stop filling the bucket, we lose all our motivation and end up lazy, poor, miserable and ineffective. Our motivation can come from many sources but it is often derived from seeing the reward ahead of us. The proverbial “carrot” dangling in front of the donkey's nose keeps him moving forward because his eye is on the prize. The carrot is not always material things. The motive of personal fulfilment, happiness, or even the desire to help others can keep us driven. Sometimes fear of embarassment will greatly motivate us. They say the best way to get a clean house fast is to invite someone over. It's amazing how you suddenly have motivation!

Healthy rest can also play a part in staying motivated. My personal motivational bucket seems to re-fill overnight. I work steady days and it seems that my workplace gets the best part of my daily energy. In the morning and mid-day I am most productive, keen-minded and able to make better choices. My ability to think creatively and innovatively is at its best. By the time I get home from work, however, it often feels like I've lost the wind in my motivational sails. At that point the couch and mindless entertainment look more inviting to me than making dinner or cleaning the house. Not wanting to be truly lazy or couch-potato-like, I push myself to do the right thing and transform into the domestic goddess that my family needs. The carrot dangling in front of me is wanting my family to really have the best of me rather than my workplace. It just takes concerted effort sometimes.

Inspiration and motivation are closely connected, but different. Inspiration is like an internal awakening. Motivation puts the awakening into action. How many times have we been inspired by hearing a great sermon or by watching a healthy cooking show, yet we never found the motivation to carry out the message or recipe that so inspired us in the first place? Inspiration is fairly easy to attain, but motivation doesn't just fall in our lap. We have to find it.

If you find yourself lacking in motivation, maybe it's because there's no reward in sight. The fact is there is always a reward, but we can't always see it today, and someone else may be the recipient of the reward, not you. Pray and ask God to help you see a reward that will motivate you. The Bible tells us that some of our rewards will only be received in heaven.

Maybe depression is stealing your groove. Grief and the storms of life can knock the wind out of us and that's understandable. Cut yourself a little slack during these times and nurture yourself. Ask God to heal your wounded spirit and He will. The sun will shine again and motivation usually returns. Sometimes motivation is born out of our hardship, such as a desire to help others suffering in the same way. If depression lingers too long, however, don't hesitate to get some professional help.

Maybe the consequences of not being motivated are not significant enough. After all, who's going to care if I eat that extra twinkie? Nobody looks in my closets so why keep them clean? You may need to take steps to keep yourself accountable and more transparent. That's why groups like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous are so successful.

Maybe past failures have stolen your confidence. This is a big one. A good subject for another blog, another day. The point is you can stay where it's safe and comfortable, take no risks and never fail, but why settle for that? Don't be a quitter. Nothing risked, nothing gained. Find some inspiration, act on it, and reward yourself!

Writing this blog has been therapy for me as I continually seek to move from inspiration to motivation. I have to rely on the grace of God every day in this regard. If you have ever been loved, you know what a powerful motivator love can be, and no one has ever loved us greater than Jesus. If nothing else motivates you, discover His love for you and let that be the force that compels you into action.